


Afterlife

by TracedViolet



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canonical Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 01:37:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21028130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TracedViolet/pseuds/TracedViolet
Summary: Eridan exhaled a long shaky breath. It was cold and lifeless. Devoid of any physical feeling he could describe, yet he could describe it forever; He had felt it for so long. In the few minutes he had as he bled out on the cold metallic floor of the meteor, unable to even comprehend the sensation of being literally cut in half, with pain so intense he couldn’t breathe or move, he wondered if whatever hell he was going to could possibly be more painful.But it was.





	Afterlife

There was only nothingness here. An endless expanse of pure energy, or rather lack thereof. It was a white abyss where everything was his, and it was the worst thing he could imagine.

3,673 minutes…..

That’s how long it had been. At least, that's how long it had been since he gave up on trying to make sense of it all. At first he tried to yell, then he tried to cry, and then he just tried. Tried anything. Anything at all but nothing was there. Only breathing. Only this. Only 3,674 minutes.

...75

...76

...77

Pain suddenly gripped him like a shotgun blast out of the back of his mind. Everything snapped back together and he gasped like it was the first time he’d ever breathed. There was ground. There was color. There was weight. Oh god. the weight. It was real. He was real. He was something again. His eyes watered a bit as he tried to focus on shadow like figure that was now in front of him. A person. Another being.

“---Eridan…..”

“Fef??” his voice cracked with bliss only having been reassembled from the wreckage that was his consciousness three seconds before. “Oh Fef, thank cod you’re here. It wwas so awwful. I- ” He reached out to her with one hand but it slipped right through her. The violet blood stared at his arm just existing inside her body before pulling it back in horror. 

what was this.

“---Eridan…. I t)(ink it is not really necessary for me to be your moirail anymore….” Her voice echoed through the unfathomable expanse and a sense of deja vu came over him. “It )(as just been so )(ard looking after you and keeping you out of trouble! It )(as taken its toll, and )(onestly I am really ex)(austed.”

“Fef, come on. W-water you talkin about?” He laughed nervously, panic quickly seeping in. Something wasn’t right. He knew it wasn’t right but he wanted so badly to deny it. “I thought wwe already-”

“You're free to do as you wis)(….” she smiled, cold and sick and dead. “We bot)( are…..” but her face wasn’t filled with sorrow. It was filled with relief. The worst moment of his miserable life, besides the fact that he killed her, and she was relieved.

“Fef!” The violet blood tried to grab at her with desperate claws but again and again they just passed straight through her image. Her voice was just a recording in his head. A lifeless memory. “Fef, please!!!” He begged, his grasps now dispersing her like water, like bubbles. It would be ironic if it wasn't so terrifying. Tears started to well up in his eyes as the last of her disappeared and he fell to where her form had been just a second ago.

“FEFERI!!!!!!” He screamed with all his being so loud it hurt with the last of the breath that he could feel fading from his lungs. He started to sink through the floor. his nails scraping helplessly against the surface but despite his efforts the floor became the ceiling and then there was no ceiling and there was no him.

Back to breathing…… Back to seconds……

...1

...2

...3

SNAP!

“HEY ASSHOLE!” Karkat yelled, the fire and hate radiated off of the mutant blooded mirage. it felt so real but his eyes were just as dead and pupiless as Feferi’s, or rather his own. Reflections. That’s all they were. Just his own worthless memories being played back at him. “CONSIDER OUR PACT OVER!”

“kar….. please……” the sea dweller could hear the whine in his own voice and he knew kar would tear his head off for it. or he would if he was real.

“SHE WAS MY FRIEND! SHE WAS MY FRIEND TOO!”

“Kar!!-”

“YOU ARE DEAD TO ME.” The words stung like they were real. Like tiny needles being pushed into his skin agonizingly slow. 

“Kar…..” The violet blood attempted to touch the other troll but the image faded just like feferi’s. In smoke and fire and righteous abandonment.

“Kar please…” the rasped begging fell on empty ears and the sinking began again but he didnt even fall this time. No. This time it snapped before he even had a chance to count.

“Can You Just For A Moment Entertain The Thoughts Of One Untouched By Megalomaniacal Derangement And Tell Me Why I’d Want To Assist You?” Kanaya’s voice asked. He’d never thought he’d be grateful to hear her voice. The one that was soft and reserved but held the essence of desperation.

“Kan, please! Please don’t leavve me here!” He knew the next wave was coming the constant change of matter, of being starting to take its toll on his body. He felt like he was going to throw up.

“It’s Just….. Laborious Listening To This….. Im Sorry….. None Of It Matters…..” the jade blood sighed as she began to disappear just as quickly as she had come.

“It does matter!!!!” Eridan screamed against his better judgement, arguing with ghosts that didn’t exist. “I matter!!!! I’m important!!!”

The sinking sucked his breath away again and his lungs collapsed inside his chest. The crushing feeling returning more awful every time. “No! No! I don’t want to go back! Please!” He wheezed and the wave disappeared but it wasn't because he asked. 

“ThErE Is a mIrAcLe cOmInG, i cAn fEeL It.”

oh god! gam! no! I didn't mean it!

“That is the wworst fuckin advvice!!” the words came out with the most bitter venom he didn’t want to use. “Wwhat an awwful thing a you to say!!” The sound over layed again and again so he could hear his own words sputtered back at him. He’d never meant to sound so hateful. He was just so angry about losing his own innocence that he took it out on everyone else. He just wanted someone to help him but he got so lost in his own theatrics, he couldn’t see the help that was already there. “MAGIC ISNT REAL! STOP BELIEVVIN IN IT!”

the twisted image of the highbloods soper glazed smiled turned to pain. the sea dweller could see his own spiteful words seeping into the capricorn’s drug fried pan as he tried to explain what he felt. “i'Ve gOt tO BeLiEvE At wHaT My hEaRt tElLs iN Me, EvEn iF It's a fAkE ThInG.”

Its not fake Gam! Its not fake! I’m sorry!

Was it his fault? Did he plant the seed in Gamzee’s brain that everything he cared about was just a fucking joke? It couldn't have been! Everyone said it but the thought lingered and swirled as Gamzee’s image faded into the white abyss.

Each and every one of his friends appeared and disappeared, replaying the exact moment they gave up on him.

“I’m sorry!!” He begged, beginning to cry, not even able to appreciate the feeling of tears on his cheeks. “Please! I’m so sorry!! I didn't mean it!!”

He felt the emptiness pulling him back, anxiety closing off his lungs again. “NO!” He screamed. “I SAID I’M SORRY! I DON’T WANT TO GO BACK!” He fought with everything he had against the unknown force so much greater than he could ever be but he was drowning. For once in his life he was drowning. “I CAN CHANGE!! I PROMISE!!!” His cries, for as hard as he felt he was yelling, didn’t seem to go anywhere. “I CAN FIX IT!! JUST TELL ME WHAT I DID WRONG!!” His screams were barely over a whisper. they didn’t even reach his own ears.

Just tell me what I did wrong….

I can fix it…..

I’m sorry……

sorry….

....1

….2

….3


End file.
